Felt absolutely terrible today. We all have those days when it feels like everything is shit. We feel sorry for ourselves. We feel like nothing we do is enough. We feel like we are not enough. Today was a day like that.
I brought my gym gear to uni just to be sure that I'd go there immediately when I was done at uni... But after a shit day I would rather go home, shut the door to my room and feel sorry for myself. Instead of doing that I sat down at a bakery, had a cappuccino and complained to my journal (who always listens and cares and sometimes even give helpful advice). Went to coles and bought some macadamia nuts. And forced my butt to the gym.
And seriously - it's crazy how that place affects the mood!!! I was about to start crying at the bakery, but after just a couple of sets I started to notice how great my ass is and forgot all about the other issues. The gym brings confidence, strength (physical and mental) and happiness. It makes me feel like I belong.
Normally I would buy shitloads of poisonous comfort food on a day like this. That would not have solved any problems at all. It would make me physically sick with a racing pulse and nausea, plus mentally worse than before.
No, sugar is not comfort. It's a false fucking bitch who tricks you into its embrace just to stab you in the back a minute later. The gym though - that's love and pure happiness. That's true comfort that pours a stream of feelgood hormones into the bloodstream and makes you feel awesome.
Now - remember that next time you want to dismiss the gym. The gym deserves more appreciation than that!!
Shoulder pat of the day: to my housemate who put a nicotine patch on her arm today and made chia pudding instead of comforting herself (and her abstinence) with ice cream!