Purple pant check and the diet thing

I think a lot about how I eat, what I eat, how and what I should eat and how/what I want to eat. Strict low carb diets are ideal, no doubt about that at all. That sort of diet has made up the basis for my food habits for about 4-5 years now. That's how I lost 20 kg once!

There are a lot of variations between different low carb diets though and I have probably tried most of them. GI diet, paleo, LCHF, primal, strict, liberal, ketogenic, dairies or no dairies, fruits or no fruits. The stricter the better is what I believe in. Unfortunately, it is not very easy to stick to if you have an interest for food and cooking as I have. It is good for my body but not for the mental well being. I feel like I am missing out on life when I am on a strict diet and I can't see myself doing it for the rest of my life.

I think that I am starting to realize what kind of diet works for me, in the long run. While I enjoy trying new diets and see how they affect my body, and probably will continue doing so, I am now focusing on a diet that provides me with a good health, does not disturb miss Sugarmonster, that is enjoyable and that supports my hunger hormones. The last part is probably the most important one. I need a diet that does not trigger binges. A strict low carb diet that consist of only meat, green vegetables, fats and eggs does not work for me. I do believe that it is the best diet you can possibly be on, but it is too strict for me to be able to follow without huge binges every now and then.

When I listen to the hardcore people who are talking about peas and red capsicums as being "forbidden food" I also kinda get annoyed. That is not how I want to live! Some food is forbidden, sure thing. But my diet will consist of natural, unprocessed food. That is the most important criteria! Then there are different degrees of "goodness":

1. Meat and eggs: As good as I can afford - hormone free, free range, organic, locally produced etc.
2. Natural fats (butter, coconut oil, olive oil)
3. Green vegetables
4. Other vegetables, berries
5. Nuts and seeds - shared position with dairies (mainly cheese)
6. Fruits, roots, peas and beans, dark chocolate (>85%)

That's about all the food that I want to include in my regular diet. On an everyday basis it is only the first 3 or 4 categories that are consumed. Plus hard cheese (no lactose there). On the weekends I usually become more liberal and include some products from the other categories as well. Forbidden food has added sugar (I can allow myself natural sweeteners such as ripe bananas or honey sometimes), trans fats, lots stuff in the ingredient lists that I don't know what it is (e-numbers, preservatives etc.), palm oil and gluten. Artificial sweeteners are avoided but preferred to sugar (e.g. I bought sugarfree Strepsils for my throat yesterday).

This kind of diet allows me to experiment and give myself treats. It is considered healthy by most people. It is low carb. My stomach is working properly. I have energy. Miss Sugarmonster is usually absent. It helps keeping me aware of my hunger hormones (I feel hunger and I am capable of having normal sized portions). My blood sugar is stable. I do not binge!

This is the focus I have right now. I've never had that focus on my food habits before. It has always been about following strict rules made up by someone else about what I should eat and when. Now it is about my own functioning and learning how to get a healthy relationship with food. What works for me regardless of what other people say.

And - here's an update of how my beautiful purple pants fit a couple of days ago! :)

Still looks absolutely terrible but, I can get them over my bum anyway. And that's after only three weeks!

Slips and struggles

The inner monster is trying its hardest to get you where it wants. It is seducing you with a voice full of pleasing promise, caressing you with words of how sweet and comforting it would be if you only had a small piece of chocolate. It doesn't have to be a whole bar, just a piece. Maybe melt it and dip fruit in it. Maybe you can break it into smaller pieces and sprinkle it over some wonderfully creamy ice cream. Maybe you can buy bananas for extra luxury. And how great wouldn't it be with a topping of fluffy whipped cream mixed with vanilla powder... Oreo's would give it a pleasing crunch as well. Your friends can have ice cream and they look great and are healthier than ever, so why shouldn't you be able to have it to?

...and the binge is on...

At the taco night yesterday, my friend had prepared the meal for me before I arrived. Put everything together, folded the tortilla bread with all content in it and poured up a glass of orange juice. So yes, I ate it. And drank the juice. Although - I managed to decline the cupcakes, doughnuts and chocolates that she also had. I choose to see that as success.

Today another friend invited me for dinner. A great, healthy meal that I can't say anything negative about. She and her boyfriend had couscous with it. She asked me if I wanted some and... I heard myself answer "you two can have as much as you want and if there's anything left then I can have a bit of that." Why, Sofia - why??? Second day in a row. I guess it doesn't seem like a big slip for most people, but it does have a big effect on me. And I never learn.

After dinner I was completely stuffed, you know - the way you only get after eating carbs. I felt like rolling walking home which turned out to take 1 h, and here's when the effect from cheating on diet two days in a row became apparent. Even though I was way oversatisfied from dinner, my monster still wouldn't shut up even for a minute on the way home. She kept on trying to make me enter every single café, every single milk bar, every single kiosk... this time, I managed to actually identify the monster though. I managed to see that it was not my own words or my own will, but the seducing sugar monster trying to get fed with addictive substances that I myself know are terrible for me.

Once again - I will forgive myself for my slips, but with a condition - remember that even the simple carbs will wake the inner monster. That is how I work. Unfortunately.

Pat on the shoulder of the day: for resisting the sugar monster and walking home instead of taking the tram.

Mmhm, sugar monster knows seduction