Time for change and some explanation

This weekend will be my third since I started the strict diet. And yep, I am getting quite tired of it. Not as tired as I thought I would though. The plan with this challenge was to start adding stuff slowly to see how my body reacts. This far, the results have been pretty amazing and I'm feeling better than ever! But since I'm getting pretty tired of it, I've decided to start adding stuff now. So today at the grocery store, some fancy cheese went down in the basket, and also baby spinach (something most people can handle, but I just want to make sure that I'm not sensitive to those fibers).

I am not sure if I explained exactly why I started this thing. It was just a few days before the start that I wrote about my current diet and how pleased I was with it. And I was. That is how I really want to eat! But it's still a fact that I, despite eating what many would call LCHF, still gained weight. So then my dear mrs Housemate was devastated after a visit to the doctor, and I was frustrated and confused about my weight gain. So we made this challenge for a week to get into new habits. It is life changing for her and for me it's a chance to see exactly what in my diet it is that's causing my weight gain. (And also to get back to the body I had a year ago when I managed to reach my dream weight.)

While I've been doing this I've also noticed the perks of being on a ketogenic diet. My goals have slightly changed. Just slightly. I still want the same things as before, but now I also want to see what effects I can get from being in ketosis for a longer period of time. It's a shame I don't have anything to measure ketones with at the moment though, so I'm not sure if I accidentally fall out of it. But I'll stick to a ketogenic diet until I go to Bali by the end of June. Than get back into it when I come home and see what happens :)

Results and eventual catches with ketosis

I did not weight myself last Sunday. My stomach was protesting so I returned to my daily shot of resistant starch and waited for my gut to start doing its job again before I went up on the scale. Result: -2 kg since last time! That is - minus 2.6 kg total since I started the ketogenic diet about 3 weeks ago. (EDIT: went to the loo, got my pajamas off and got on the scale again: minus another kg! So now- minus almost 4 kg since the start!) Happy girl!! :)

My exams are starting on Friday so I really don't have time to sit here and analyze my diet :( But considering all my studying at the moment, I am really pleased to be in ketosis!! I can actually focus on the studies and don't even have to take a break for food during the day. Might not necessarily be a positive thing though. I am still a bit worried that I don't eat enough. But then again - yesterday I ate heaps instead. Just eating when I am hungry and not eating when I am not kinda makes me vary my calorie intake a lot from day to day. Sometimes fasting for 24 hours and sometimes, like yesterday, eating well above my daily intake.

So well... the only issue I can think of now is the occasional waste of food. I mean, yesterday I brought a lunchbox to uni. The appetite was completely absent. So it lay there in my backpack for several hours in room temperature and then went back to the refrigerator when I came home. Now I'm not sure if I can eat it. Waste of money on that food. But if that's the only catch - then I am more than fine with that! :)

(well sure, my breath is still a nightmare but I see that as a good sign)

Good news and progress!

Some good news today! First of all: The Economist has published an article about how wrong scientists have judged fat, and that insulin (and thereby sugar) is the real bad guy. In a Swedish Facebook group about LCHF someone described our fat of fear by writing that "getting fat by eating fat makes as much sense as if you'd get sweet by eating sugar, or green by eating greens."

Then it was time for Purple Pant Check no 3 today! Last time I checked my purple pants was three weeks ago. Check this out:

Purple pants today

 

Purple pants three weeks ago

This time, the pants got up almost all the way, my bum fits as it should which I think explains the much more flattering shape of it today, and I didn't have to struggle as much to hold the zipper gap :)
At next check, they will go up all the way to the crotch and I will be able to get the zipper up a little bit!!

Now I can't wait to get on the scale tomorrow :)
Challenge today: party and going out tonight without cheating on the diet. I almost managed yesterday with the exception of some BBQ sauce on the pizza topping that I had (without the pizza bottom).

Sweating away

Started the day with an upper back session followed by some sprints today. On empty stomach since I'm not too hungry when I wake up anymore. And yes, it works perfectly fine. Estimated my calories to about 1250 yesterday, but I still managed to raise some weights at the gym today!

Morning visits to the gym are the best way I know to start the day. That's where I kinda do what I do best. I feel invincible! I feel confident! I feel strong!!! And honestly, it feels even better here in Australia since it's quite uncommon to see women lift heavy free weights. So when I am there on the floor where usually only the hardcore guys set their feet, I can notice some curious looks and I know that people are impressed :)

What's more - it slightly feels like I have seen the light and the girls on the crosstrainers or the fit balls, are living a lie. I wish everyone could begin to understand that torture will not give you the results you want. Eating real food and do more efficient training with heavy weights (no machines) and maybe some sprinting is what will get you there! And that is not torture. Well, not to me anyway. You will not be bulky, but you will finally get the results that you dream of!

Pictures of what Sofia feels like at different stages after sprinting. Dinner. And the tool that hopefully will fix my grip during deadlifts :)

The success of mrs Housemate!

My wonderful friend and housemate has gotten fantastic results for her first week of this so called "extreme" diet! Her sleep is still perfect and the previous headaches are still absent. This is the first time she has managed to stick to a diet for this long even though it's just been a week. And the scale told her today that she has lost... *drums*... 3,3 kg! That is wonderful and she was so happy this morning and I am so proud of her! :)

Since I keep on following the LCHF lifestyle in Sweden, I get a lot of inspiration from there. One thing that I wanted to try was pork crackles with butter. So I did. And it tasted amazing! Was it good and healthy though? ... Nah, not if you intend on being strict as I do. Many ingredients and most of them suspicious things such as hydrolysed soy proteins and lots of numbers that I suppose have an invisible E in front of them. No sugar in the ingredients, but I guess there are some since the packing says "low in sugar" instead of "no sugar". The carb content was less than 1% though so I decided to go for it. Won't buy this anytime soon again though.

I am starting to get slightly nervous about one thing. Today I've only had a bulletproof coffee for breakfast and then nothing at all until about 5:30 pm when I had the pork crackles and butter. And now its 8 pm and I don't think I'll be hungry again before I go to bed. Problem is - I made a great steak yesterday that I intended to have as main food source this week together with fried asparagus, but I am not hungry enough to eat it! I also have heaps of organic eggs, tuna and homemade mayonnaise. It's not a lot, but I don't feel like eating anything anymore. It's probably a good sign - my body has finally learned to only eat when it has to. I just don't want to miss out on tasty and good food that I've made an effort to prepare.

Pat on the shoulder to mrs Housemate for great success and to me for not having bigger problems but rather enjoying life ;)

No carb challenge - what happened?

I believe it is time for an evaluation of the no carb week! Report for mrs Housemate will come too, but after she's checked her weight (tomorrow).

Well well well. The adapting phase is over now, I believe. It has been a struggle the past week, but I pushed through and, considering my terrible breath, I think I've finally entered ketosis. :)

So what are the effects except bad breath and pimples (common side effects)? I am feeling absolutely fantastic! Seriously, I've felt somewhat depressed for quite some time while I've gained weight (not depressed because of weight gain... but perhaps they have a common cause). But now, after one week of extremely strict low carb high fat diet, my old energetic eyes that I've always been quite proud of, are actually back! I feel optimistic and I am getting my confidence back. This is definitely the best effect from the experiment!

Some things that I have described previously are still facts. Good results at the gym even if it's been hours since my last meal. Perfect hunger signals! It takes about 7 hours until I get hungry again after a meal, but I actually feel the hunger rather than just noticing that I have sugar cravings and that I am in a bad mood. There is no overeating either. I am satisfied with the portions I give myself and then I don't think about food until 7 hours later.

And what everyone obviously wants to know - has anything happened to my weight? Well yes it has! Not a lot, but it is going in the right direction. Minus 0.6 kg as of today. :D

This started as a one week challenge. But that was only the start. Now, since it took a week for me to get adapted, I want to keep this experiment going. The plan is to later slowly start adding things to the diet in order to see what it is that my body wants and what it doesn't want.

Fat and more fat. Some asparagus for a change instead of the same old broccoli today and the happy eyes :)

Living la vida low carb in Australia

In Scandinavia the low carb hight fat, or LCHF, lifestyle is huge. It is now established after many years of public debates, skepticism and denial. Suddenly you can see low carb products everywhere! The low fat products are constantly on sale because no one wants to buy it anymore. The real butter and full fat cream are often out of stock instead. Even the authorities are starting to change their recommendations!

But I don't live in Scandinavia anymore. I live down under, in Australia now. And even though this lifestyle is spreading to other countries (especially America), no one really knows about it here in Australia. Suddenly, I am once again back to reading all ingredients extremely carefully in the grocery store since pretty much everything has added sugar, low meat content or is low fat. Once again, people look at my food with huge doubt. When I asked for help to find thickened, full fat, cream at Coles the other day, I had to be a bit persistent and the woman helping me laughed when I declared that I always buy the products with most fat in them.

In Sweden, many restaurants are used to people who eat this diet and provide alternatives. There are even low carb choices at some fast food restaurants and at IKEA. Here in Melbourne, I have simply given up the idea of finding good alternatives when I am in the city. Best choice is to find a grocery store and buy some nuts or Baby Bells.

Here's what I have learned this far: the stricter I eat, the easier it is. Good food is usually very expensive here. Sausages with a good content for example. I've solved this by preparing as much as possible myself. This includes spice mixes and sauces such as salsa. If I eat very strictly, as I do in my challenge now, then I don't have to look for food when I am away from home. Even though I feel hungry, it is still manageable. I will not get tired or in a bad mood or even start fantasizing about crap food. I can persist until I get home.

This blog is a way for me to report my experiences while I learn how to adapt in a country that still has to be convinced about the LCHF way of living. It is a way to memorize what works and what doesn't. And if someone finds it and gets some inspiration or help, then that is just a wonderful bonus. :)

Some Australian resources that seem really good:

An Australian site for LCHF

And their active Facebook group

A blog about LCHF in Australia with recipes that seem really nice

What is this magic???

I think it might be called ketosis! But I should not be there yet. So I suppose it is just a seriously kickass diet! Great results on the third day for both my wonderful housemate and me!!!!

So what happened? Well, I felt terrible all day, in a bad mood and sooo tired. But - I had brought my gym gear to uni just to be able to do a chest session immediately when I was done there. So I forced my ass there and, tadaaa, my energy magically came back to life, the weights were raised in all sets and I even managed to end it with 15 mins of sprinting afterwords! This happened after only having two meals today with the last one 4-5 hours earlier. Fuckin' kickass!!!

And you know what else is fuckin' kickass? My housemate is obviously also suffering from an adapting body. Probably a lot more than I am since she is all new to the concept. Despite this, she woke up without a headache today for the first time in three weeks!!! And she's really pushing herself with this new way of eating. She is truly amazing!! Go miss Housemate!! :D

Breakfast in the bottom (yep, that's right), post-workout snack in the top and a happy Sofia filled with endorphins to the left:)

Something amazing just happened...

Since I am on a no carb challenge at the moment, I'm starting to notice some things happening. Things such as feeling completely exhausted in the afternoon/evening and being easily annoyed. That is, my body is trying to adapt to the new extremely strict diet. I also noticed that it took me about 7 hours to get hungry again after I had breakfast yesterday, and there was no need for a snack in the evening.

But now there was something amazing happening during brekkie. I managed to not finish my plate!!! Felt stuffed when I had one piece of the meat left and actually threw it away after I had to force down another bite. I seriously can't remember last time that I didn't finish my plate. It's something rooted very deeply from when I was little, and also from living many years on a tight budget. Suddenly it happened.

This means that I actually can feel when my body is satisfied while on this diet! Go Sofy!!!

Breakfast!

And oh, look up the hashtag #skaldemanslchf on Instagram! It's all Swedish but anyone can see what's in the pictures anyway. Love seeing proof of other people eating as crazily as I do :)

Challenges and beginnings

So I live in Australia now. And here in Australia - people don't do low carb yet. The miracle hasn't really managed to travel to this part of the world yet. But despite this - I have managed to convince my first Australian. Here's the story:

There is a house in Melbourne where three people live. A boy and a girl who are married, and Sofia who's an international student from Sweden. The married couple have looked at Sofia's food with huge doubt without saying anything. All that fat. And seriously, why can't she have a potato every once in a while?! But the thing is, the female part of the couple is very overweight. I don't know how much, but I would guess around 140-150 kg. The boy is doing a lot of anaerobic exercising, have terrible food habits (same as his wife), seems fine and healthy enough, but has gained 12 kg since he met the girl despite the cardio. He believes in low fat diets and anaerobic exercising to loose fat.

The boy and the girl have tried to get a baby for some time, but without success. The doctor says that they might increase the chances if the girl looses some weight. They start dieting every week but give up after a couple of days.

One day, Sofia comes home and sees that something is wrong with the girl. She's not her usual happy self. Apparently, there was a visit to the doctor with more bad news. Sofia start talking about how the low carb high fat diet from Sweden has helped a lot of people loose a lot of weight when everything has failed previously. She also describe health benefits and research for studies about low carb diets and fertility (good info about that in this interview by the DietDoctor).

Anyway, I can't bother writing like that anymore. My housemate and I have now started a challenge for one week to begin with (will most likely be extended). I am cutting the carbs to a maximum of 5 grams per day (aiming towards 0), and she is starting on LCHF. This is so exciting!!! I get to follow someone who has potential to gain huge health benefits in several ways from following the LCHF diet, in Australia where people still frown at fat and believes in processed low fat food. I love that her goal is not primarily to loose weight, but to get pregnant, which also makes it even more interesting to follow. She is more motivated now than I have ever seen her before which really makes me believe that she can do it! And - her husband is completely against the whole thing and refuse to listen to my reasoning. I will love to shove his doubts in his face when she stands there with a healthy and, hopefully, pregnant wife!

What I believe my beautiful, wonderful and fantastic housemate will gain is:

• A child
• A healthy weight
• More energy
• Good sleep
• Stable mood
• Lower blood sugar
• No more headaches
• No cravings

To contrast that, this is what it is like now (a summary):

• PCOS (no trace of a child)
• Heavily overweight
• No energy - naps every afternoon/early evening
• Bad sleep - nightmares and waking up several times
• Mood swings
• Risk of getting diabetes according to doctor
• Migraines and constant headache
• Sugar addiction

I will follow this closely and support her as much as I possibly can. It feels as if I am almost as involved in and motivated by her lifestyle now as I am in my own, and it will be great to see what happens now and if she can stick to it! Second day today :)

Purple pant check and the diet thing

I think a lot about how I eat, what I eat, how and what I should eat and how/what I want to eat. Strict low carb diets are ideal, no doubt about that at all. That sort of diet has made up the basis for my food habits for about 4-5 years now. That's how I lost 20 kg once!

There are a lot of variations between different low carb diets though and I have probably tried most of them. GI diet, paleo, LCHF, primal, strict, liberal, ketogenic, dairies or no dairies, fruits or no fruits. The stricter the better is what I believe in. Unfortunately, it is not very easy to stick to if you have an interest for food and cooking as I have. It is good for my body but not for the mental well being. I feel like I am missing out on life when I am on a strict diet and I can't see myself doing it for the rest of my life.

I think that I am starting to realize what kind of diet works for me, in the long run. While I enjoy trying new diets and see how they affect my body, and probably will continue doing so, I am now focusing on a diet that provides me with a good health, does not disturb miss Sugarmonster, that is enjoyable and that supports my hunger hormones. The last part is probably the most important one. I need a diet that does not trigger binges. A strict low carb diet that consist of only meat, green vegetables, fats and eggs does not work for me. I do believe that it is the best diet you can possibly be on, but it is too strict for me to be able to follow without huge binges every now and then.

When I listen to the hardcore people who are talking about peas and red capsicums as being "forbidden food" I also kinda get annoyed. That is not how I want to live! Some food is forbidden, sure thing. But my diet will consist of natural, unprocessed food. That is the most important criteria! Then there are different degrees of "goodness":

1. Meat and eggs: As good as I can afford - hormone free, free range, organic, locally produced etc.
2. Natural fats (butter, coconut oil, olive oil)
3. Green vegetables
4. Other vegetables, berries
5. Nuts and seeds - shared position with dairies (mainly cheese)
6. Fruits, roots, peas and beans, dark chocolate (>85%)

That's about all the food that I want to include in my regular diet. On an everyday basis it is only the first 3 or 4 categories that are consumed. Plus hard cheese (no lactose there). On the weekends I usually become more liberal and include some products from the other categories as well. Forbidden food has added sugar (I can allow myself natural sweeteners such as ripe bananas or honey sometimes), trans fats, lots stuff in the ingredient lists that I don't know what it is (e-numbers, preservatives etc.), palm oil and gluten. Artificial sweeteners are avoided but preferred to sugar (e.g. I bought sugarfree Strepsils for my throat yesterday).

This kind of diet allows me to experiment and give myself treats. It is considered healthy by most people. It is low carb. My stomach is working properly. I have energy. Miss Sugarmonster is usually absent. It helps keeping me aware of my hunger hormones (I feel hunger and I am capable of having normal sized portions). My blood sugar is stable. I do not binge!

This is the focus I have right now. I've never had that focus on my food habits before. It has always been about following strict rules made up by someone else about what I should eat and when. Now it is about my own functioning and learning how to get a healthy relationship with food. What works for me regardless of what other people say.

And - here's an update of how my beautiful purple pants fit a couple of days ago! :)

Still looks absolutely terrible but, I can get them over my bum anyway. And that's after only three weeks!

New found love: HIIT

I have already described my overwhelming love for sir Gym. The main thing that makes me so attracted to sir Gym is the weight lifting. Heavy free weights. I've always kinda hated doing cardio though. But - about a week ago a realized that I was not as tired as I should be after a session of my new program (4-split instead of 3-split which makes the sessions a lot quicker) so I decided to try sprinting. Intervals has always been my thing since my endurance is pretty shitty and I don't know how to motivate myself to keep running when I feel like I am about to die, but it has always been longer intervals with the goal of being able to run for as long as possible without resting.

Now I've been quite inspired of the Primal Blueprint lately and by listening to their podcast I was curious to try really high intensity sprints after my workout. So I did. And then I did it after every upper body workout session this week. And I must say that wow, sir Gym - why didn't you show me this side of yourself earlier??? So what I've been doing is just 15 min sessions of 45 sec - 1 min of running at the top speed of what I have previously been capable of, followed by 1 min walking.

Why I love it you ask? Because it is over quickly so it is easier for me to push myself into both starting and continuing for the remaining time; because it releases all the happy hormones that I love from cardio exercise without being as torturous; because it is not as tough as aerobic exercise so I can do it after my strength programs which I have never managed before (I suppose - not really surprisingly - that anaerobic exercise is my thing), because I notice results after only one week of doing this!

Mark Sisson wrote an excellent post about this a while back, describing the benefits you get from sprinting. I am really looking forward to keep up these intervals and see how it will affect me in the longer run. What I can notice after only a week is: more energy and feeling a lot better mentally, starting to actually recognize my hunger signals which I haven't felt for a long time, increased speed (I suppose it is the same as when you start lifting - rapid progress in the beginning) and better focus. I mostly feel more stable mentally. I don't know if I can put all credit for that into the sprints of course, since my food intake has been really good the past week as well, I have managed to stick to my exercise routine and I have had a humane amount of things to do at uni (meaning: no stress). Although I definitely believe that the new addition of short HIIT sessions have strongly contributed to my new well being that has been absent for quite some time.

A pretty exhausted Sofia just off the treadmill. Sweaty and very satisfied with herself! And the eyes were a lot more energetic after some recovery ;)

Brekkie

Breakfast is holy to me. I've tried a compressed eating window a la 8h eating and 16h fasting, and can definitely recommend it. I do it every once in a while for some time, but I really do love my breakfast and always go back to it sooner or later. It is more than just food for me. It is me-time because I usually get up earlier than my housemates. It is relaxation. It is a beautifully slow start of the day where I have an opportunity to sort all my thoughts and wake up properly.

I truly love early mornings but I am not a morning person. And I try to get up extra early just because of that reason, however contradictory it might sound. Then I might allow myself to be a zombie for some time without having to stress. I allow myself to have a cup of coffee while just staring into the wall for half an hour if I feel the need for it.

Loved the look of my breakfast today so I just had to put a picture of it here. Homemade crackers (sesame seeds, linseed, sunflower seeds, egg and spices only - yummy dose of good fibres!) with a lot of butter, salami, a big chunk of cheese and a small twig from the basil plant in the kitchen window. And of course multivitamineral, omega-3 and the compulsory cup of black coffee :)

Entering into the light

In the beginning there was darkness. But after a certain period of time, filled with mood swings, struggles, mental fist fights with miss Sugarmonster and maybe a slip or ten, after forcing yourself to stay on track - you will see the light at the end of the tunnel. And suddenly you are there. Still far away from your goal, but you have reached the light. The light where it is no longer a constant struggle to keep on trying but rather just goes automatically. The light where you notice that you actually don't really feel like trying the cake at work because miss Sugermonster has given up. The light where you actually long for kicking some ass at the gym because you know how great it will make you feel afterwords. Suddenly you are not trying to convince yourself anymore - you are just doing it and you start feeling that you can actually manage this, for real!

It is worth going through the torturous phase to get to the light. And really - it does not take that long. I have a three day rule. That is how long it takes to get past the worst of the cravings. The diet is easier after about a week. After two weeks you'll probably be in the flow, you've gotten the hang of what you can eat for your different meals, the sugar addiction is on hold, it is not a huge mission to get to the gym anymore and you're probably starting to see your first results.

I read somewhere that it takes three months for a new habit to get established. Might be true. Probably is. But it will not be a constant fight trough all that time. The fight is only in the beginning. I believe that you will find your health salvation within a month. Just give it a try. A real wholehearted try. You can do it!

Gym - my rock

My gym - my love - my comfort - my well being - my supporting rock. 

Felt absolutely terrible today. We all have those days when it feels like everything is shit. We feel sorry for ourselves. We feel like nothing we do is enough. We feel like we are not enough. Today was a day like that. 

I brought my gym gear to uni just to be sure that I'd go there immediately when I was done at uni... But after a shit day I would rather go home, shut the door to my room and feel sorry for myself. Instead of doing that I sat down at a bakery, had a cappuccino and complained to my journal (who always listens and cares and sometimes even give helpful advice). Went to coles and bought some macadamia nuts. And forced my butt to the gym. 

And seriously - it's crazy how that place affects the mood!!! I was about to start crying at the bakery, but after just a couple of sets I started to notice how great my ass is and forgot all about the other issues. The gym brings confidence, strength (physical and mental) and happiness. It makes me feel like I belong. 

Normally I would buy shitloads of poisonous comfort food on a day like this. That would not have solved any problems at all. It would make me physically sick with a racing pulse and nausea, plus mentally worse than before.

No, sugar is not comfort. It's a false fucking bitch who tricks you into its embrace just to stab you in the back a minute later. The gym though - that's love and pure happiness. That's true comfort that pours a stream of feelgood hormones into the bloodstream and makes you feel awesome.

Now - remember that next time you want to dismiss the gym. The gym deserves more appreciation than that!!

Shoulder pat of the day: to my housemate who put a nicotine patch on her arm today and made chia pudding instead of comforting herself (and her abstinence) with ice cream!

Weekend summary

Oh, what a perfect weekend it was. Not food wise, but in everything else. And that's why I won't give these weekend adventures up just to be able to stay on track. Sure, I don't know how to stay healthy while I'm away with friends who don't care the least about what they eat, but my time away with them are the greatest treatments for mental stress and anxiety that I know and it is also about fulfilling my dreams.

So the traps I fell into this weekend: fish & chips for dinner. No good alternatives to choose from. Panini for lunch. No alternatives there either and skipping the bread would've made the meal too small for a day filled with physical activities. Toast with a homemade avocado mix that my friend prepared for me. Couldn't say no when she had made an effort like that.

Despite these slips there are also some successes that I will give myself a shoulder pat for! I did my best to stay somewhat healthy considering the circumstances. That meant: I had raw nuts and water with me everywhere so there was no problem at all skipping sweets and soft drinks when everyone else were having that. I bought my own breakfast and made banana pancakes from ripe bananas, eggs and cinnamon for my friend and myself instead of having bread or cereals. I also managed to eat average portions of all meals which is a huge success for anyone who doesn't know when enough is enough! And best of all - this weekend did not trigger any binges or cravings like pretty much all other weekend adventures have done. Maybe because I managed to stay away from sweets. Today has been great with normal, or a slightly smaller food intake. Good primal food!

I believe a great tool to not respond to unhealthy cravings is to recognize that inner seductive voice. To personalize that voice, as I've done by naming it miss Seductive Sugarmonster, makes it easier to see it from an outside perspective and actually argue with it. You kind of hear how riddiculous it sounds in a different way and it's easier to decide to not fall for those stupid ideas that the voice suggest. If there is someone else inside you who says "you've ruined this day by having a biscuit already so you can just go on and have the whole package now" then it's easier to reply with "screw you, one biscuit is more than enough for me and I don't need more" than if you think it was your own conscious thought suggesting it. 

Now let's see if we can get up at 5 tomorrow for an early and well deserved morning workout at the gym before uni :)

Living life to the fullest = traps everywhere!

So I recently moved all across the world. New experiences and lots of opportunities of exploration and adventure. I love these adventures but they are dangerous when it comes to healthy eating. Right now I'm sitting in a car, 6:30 am on a Saturday, on my way to a weekend adventure. These adventure are probably my main traps. My diet may work perfectly during the week but when I go away, someone might be making pancakes for everyone, another one bought timtams and we'll probably stop for a snack on the way and trust me - it will not be a salad bar!

I feel like there are no healthy options for me when I go on these adventures. I always tell myself that "it's just one weekend, I'll go back to my healthy lifestyle on Monday". And I do. But it's not really sustainable if this happens every or every second weekend. And miss Monster is always extra seductive for at least three days afterwards. 

This weekend I'll try to have a strategy beforehand. I got a boiled egg and a bunch of raw nuts in the backpack. That will save me when my friends want to go for a snack on the road. We'll buy groceries for dinner and breakfast together later which is a possibility for me to buy something for myself. I don't have to eat the pancakes - I'll just make an omelet for myself. 

I've also prepared my body this time by not eating as much fat as I usually do, since I might not be very strict low carb this weekend. Otherwise it might turn out to be high carb high fat which is never good. 

Last thing - if I don't manage to stick to the diet 100%. If something poisonous slips down - then I won't beat myself up for it! I'll do the best I can and that means that I'll be healthier than if I'd just give everything up anyway. If I eat something bad, then so be it. Get over it and get right back on track afterwords!

Treat - no binge

Today I bought chocolate. 90% cocoa. I took two squares and now its lying here beside the computer and has been there for maybe an hour and I don't actually feel any need of having another piece. Wow. What just happened? Miss Seductive S. Monster - I was expecting you and you're not here. Fuck yeah :)

Screw you miss Seductive Monster, I'm going sprinting!

Mental tools in all their glory, plus the rediscovered treasure in low carb diets... But the best way to truly knock miss Seductive Sugarmonster out (and I know you don't want to hear this, but it's true) is exercise. Sweaty, tough, wonderful exercise. And I will not say that I'm an expert - but I would say that I'm at least pretty decent when it comes to heavy resistance training with free weights. And that kind of workout - boy does it release the beloved endorphins that kick miss S. Monster right out of the brain! Especially if it's combined with some high intensy intervals on the treadmill.

If Sugarmonster turns out to be extra fierce and irresistible - just decide to do a heavy workout first, then you can go past the store on your way home. I never feel like eating anything after a workout (but of course I'll give my physical armor a well deserved treat to repair the muscle fibers) so if I say this to myself, then I'll most likely just walk past the store and go home without the poisonous sugar. If I would fail and buy something - then at least I'd probably not get a binge anyway and also - it wouldn't do as much damage if it's after a workout when the metabolism is doing its best to use all energy for repairing the muscles rather than storing fat. 

Things that I'm thankful for today: a compliment for my beautiful smile. It reminded me that weight isn't everything. And also the guys who serenaded me on the tram back home. Made my day! And oh - I'm so thankful for my 24/7 gym that allowed me to go there at 10:30 pm today :)

Great post-workout treat for the armour:

Slips and struggles

The inner monster is trying its hardest to get you where it wants. It is seducing you with a voice full of pleasing promise, caressing you with words of how sweet and comforting it would be if you only had a small piece of chocolate. It doesn't have to be a whole bar, just a piece. Maybe melt it and dip fruit in it. Maybe you can break it into smaller pieces and sprinkle it over some wonderfully creamy ice cream. Maybe you can buy bananas for extra luxury. And how great wouldn't it be with a topping of fluffy whipped cream mixed with vanilla powder... Oreo's would give it a pleasing crunch as well. Your friends can have ice cream and they look great and are healthier than ever, so why shouldn't you be able to have it to?

...and the binge is on...

At the taco night yesterday, my friend had prepared the meal for me before I arrived. Put everything together, folded the tortilla bread with all content in it and poured up a glass of orange juice. So yes, I ate it. And drank the juice. Although - I managed to decline the cupcakes, doughnuts and chocolates that she also had. I choose to see that as success.

Today another friend invited me for dinner. A great, healthy meal that I can't say anything negative about. She and her boyfriend had couscous with it. She asked me if I wanted some and... I heard myself answer "you two can have as much as you want and if there's anything left then I can have a bit of that." Why, Sofia - why??? Second day in a row. I guess it doesn't seem like a big slip for most people, but it does have a big effect on me. And I never learn.

After dinner I was completely stuffed, you know - the way you only get after eating carbs. I felt like rolling walking home which turned out to take 1 h, and here's when the effect from cheating on diet two days in a row became apparent. Even though I was way oversatisfied from dinner, my monster still wouldn't shut up even for a minute on the way home. She kept on trying to make me enter every single café, every single milk bar, every single kiosk... this time, I managed to actually identify the monster though. I managed to see that it was not my own words or my own will, but the seducing sugar monster trying to get fed with addictive substances that I myself know are terrible for me.

Once again - I will forgive myself for my slips, but with a condition - remember that even the simple carbs will wake the inner monster. That is how I work. Unfortunately.

Pat on the shoulder of the day: for resisting the sugar monster and walking home instead of taking the tram.

Mmhm, sugar monster knows seduction

Medicare waiting room

Uni is finally open today! Backpack is stuffed with notebooks, iPad and a lunch box, all prepared for an afternoon in the library catching up on cell metabolism. 

First I just have to sit here and wait for my turn at the Medicare counter so I can get my card. It's time to see a GP tomorrow to get my thyroid hormone production measured. If it turned out that the values are too low then my weight gain, tiredness, coldness, focusing issues, weakness at the gym and lots of other thigs would suddenly make sense. If they turn out to be normal, well... Then I guess that it's actually just me exaggerating and being unable to handle life or something. 

The status for today otherwise: my chest and biceps are wonderfully sore from the perfect gym session yesterday! My inner monster can't stop thinking about sugar (chocolate) for some reason, but I refuse to succumb to it! Challenge of the day: taco night with friends and resisting the bread/nachos or whatever there is to resist plus eventual alcohol. Pat on the shoulder to myself if I succeed (which I will!!!).

Day 3...

...Since the last carb overload. And it feels great! I am so proud of myself - after dinner yesterday I didn't actually feel like having anything more to eat. To buy strawberries and be able to leave them in the fridge for later - that's a real achievement for someone like me!

Just fried 1,5 kg of chicken. Food for a week! :)
Chicken, bacon and shredded coconut spiced with ginger - Remember that combo!

And thank you Sofia, for leaving the strawberries for post-workout snack today. Much appreciated!

Pat on the shoulder for: feeling awesome, invincible, confident and being stronger than usual at the gym! Chest day <3

Success!

Guess what?! I made it from the store with potato starch to feed my gut bacteria, broccoli and chicken for lunch boxes, cheese for snack during the week and for tonight: fresh strawberries and ingredients for keto balls! Which I will have after a real meal! So I actually managed to put the strawberries in the refrigerator and heat my last chicken burgers (no bread of course) for dinner instead. Go Sofia!!

Great food (better than it looks):

Yes - healthy food contains LOADS of fat according to me. Yey primal! :)

Pause

Here I am, lying on my stomach in a park, listening to fantastic Swedish music in the earbuds and just taking a pause from life. It's Easter, which means that the library is closed today and I have to stay home with my studies. For the third day in a row! And I am going nuts!!! Especially since I'm still not really used to flatsharing and having people around all the time. Sometimes you just need a timeout, a minute for yourself. Even better if you can combine it with some fresh air. 

I know I'll still be restless when I get back home. And what do I do when I am restless? I eat! And this park is very close to my standard grocery store. And I want to go and buy potato starch to try the big hype about resistant starch which means... It will be hard to not buy shitloads of carbs! I have a 3 day-rule when I've eated carbs. That's how long it takes to get rid of the cravings. Today is day no 2. I should probably avoid the store all together. But another rule is to allow myself to eat as much as I want of healthy food during these days to compensate the cravings. I can start thinking about amounts once these days are over. So how do we solve this?

I actually already know that I will go to the store. I recognize these feelings too well by now but I can choose to buy better alternatives than chocolate, ice cream and lollies. I can choose chease, veggies and dip, sausage and/or nuts instead. Probably "and" rather than "or". I'm a binge eater. Let's see how it goes. Report later!

SCORE!

Oh yes, she did it!! Was it good? Oh yeah. Did it give me new energy? Oh yeah. Am I more optimistic now than before? Hell yeah! Did it make my headache go away? Unfortunately not, which obviously affected the training, but hey - I did it! :D

And the after-pic:

Now Sofia - how about remembering this next time you feel like spending time with your laptop instead of the gym?!

To force motivation

I have tried to lose my extra kilos that I've gained a number of times now, but I am still going to see this as a start. The last week have been absolutely horrendous in the healthy perspective with shitloads of crappy food and hardly no exercise. This means that I have to really force myself to the gym now. That's how it always is when you start. But force yourself for a couple of times and then it will be a routine and no probs at all.

It is really hard to leave the computer at the moment and get my ass to the gym so here's my strategy:

1. I put on my gym gear first thing in the morning before even having my coffee.
2. Deciding when to go - after breakfast and one episode of Big Bang Theory!
3. Write about it here with a picture of how I feel about it (so I can make another update when I come back with a new picture of how awesome I will feel then! Great for future motivation!!!)
4. Repeat all the reasons for going there as a mantra: "Sofia - you do love lifting weights, you do want to raise the weights to feel less embarrassed at the gym, you do want to look fit again, you will get rid of your headache if you go out for fresh air, you will feel awesome afterwards, it will be easier to focus on your studies when you get back etc etc..."
5. FUCKING JUST DO IT WILL'YA?!?!?!?!

Pat on the shoulder for: Pretty good breakfast with hardly any carbs. Good on ya! :)

Weight lifting - YEY!!!! :D

Mission started!

So the idea is to use this as an inspirational platform for myself to keep on going in my health mission. I have done it before and I KNOW that I can do it again!!

I managed to get into the best shape I've ever been in by losing 20 kg over... two years or so. Then the tough shit began (life happened y'know) and I gained more than 10 of them again. Now I've tried and tried to drop them again and nothing happens. So here I am exposing myself to the world to see if that helps. And I have done it before so if I manage again - then maybe I'll even be able to give some helpful advice to someone else :)

Here's the deal - these pants will fit again! Like a glove!!!